Breaking the Cycle of Gun Violence and Division: A Call for Empathy and Leadership

When a mass shooting occurs, the public cycles through the five stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance) incredibly quickly. We have become accustomed to this cycle, having been through these tragedies so many times. Unfortunately, for many of us, accepting that this is a reality in our country is all we can do.

In the days and weeks following a shooting, anger seethes and boils to the surface. The public wants someone to blame. Most of the blame ultimately lands on politicians who aren't regulating firearms. Once again, a hostile feud ensues between gun rights advocates and those who oppose regulation.

The divides in our country are deep, livid canyons. People are prone to dive headlong into a contempt chasm after simply reading a Facebook post. The dehumanizing shield of the internet makes it easier to pepper your perceived enemy with insults, and ad hoc arguments abound.

There is something undeniably elliptical about this cycle: An individual carries out a mass shooting. Outrage, blame, and hatred ensue. Tension intensifies before eventually diminishing to its standard, established, bubbling kettle of vitriol. This norm that we exist in consists of daily, slanderous news reports and social media exasperation. Eventually, over time, the tea kettle begins issuing its distinct whine, and somewhere, someone carries out the absolutely unfathomable act of releasing the steam. And it’s back to the drawing board, blaming the politicians for not creating stiffer gun laws.

I recently watched Waco, the 2018 miniseries about the 1993 standoff between the ATF, FBI, and the Branch Davidians. It was honestly the first time in my life that I ever considered that the average Joe could benefit from owning an automatic weapon. But then, I reminded myself that unless you plan to go off the grid en masse and live a life in opposition to established laws, coming under siege by your own government isn’t very likely.

I do not plan to do that. I like the grid.

One of the main characters in the show, acted flawlessly by Michael Shannon, speaks some truth:

“If you put more guns in people's hands, they're gonna use 'em… There's a paradox to power. The more force you bring to a situation, the more likely you are to meet resistance.”

Mic drop.

However, for every person who doesn't, there’s another person who believes that fighting firearm with firearm is the way to solve the problem.

What if the fight itself is creating the cycle? What if we change the dialogue?

Politicians are, in large part, managers. They’re leaders, coordinators, administrators, and motivators. Their role is to work for the common good of the organization, which in this case, is the public. In business, there are common mistakes that managers make. Let’s consider a few:

• Setting one worker against another

• Letting your workgroup blame problems on other groups

• Badmouthing

• Not understanding that workers are different than one another

• Not building a trusting atmosphere

It’s fairly easy to see how the climate of an organization will suffer if the managers fail at mastering these simple skills. And yet, in how many instances, in the past week alone, can we find our leaders engaging in these managerial errors? Executive coaches work with managers to develop skills that improve the health and productivity of their teams. It’s clear that our leaders need some solid coaching.

I am in no way suggesting that those fighting the good fight let up on demanding gun reform. What I am saying, is that perhaps the greater emphasis at this time should be in insisting that our elected officials behave as mature, and skilled leaders. What the country needs are politicians who are committed to closing the divide and lowering the temperature of the kettle.

Instead of allowing tragedies to further divide the nation, we should urge our leaders to use those moments to highlight our collective and universal grief. It's no secret that we all want to solve the problem of gun violence. However, the reality is that we do not agree on the best solution. If we cannot find empathy for those on the other side of the argument, the cycle of hatred and blame will persist. Politicians have the power to set an example of compassion and compromise. Rather than making promises they cannot keep, they should make efforts to understand each other and form partnerships. This would help to create a calmer tone for the nation. As individuals, we must be ready to accept that we cannot always get everything we want, but in exchange, we may gain more peace.

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